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The Ultimate Jokes Thread (Veg. Only)

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#121 by uzair_friends » Fri Nov 23, 2012 07:27

Dr. Pregnant Girl Se : Ye Sab Kab Hua..??

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Girl : Mom & Dad Film Dekhne Gaye The Aur Mera Friend Ghar Aaya Tha.

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Dr : To Tum Kyu Nahi Gayi..??

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Girl : MOVIE ADULT THI..!! ;) :P :D
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#122 by uzair_friends » Fri Nov 23, 2012 07:28

Kasab ko fassi dene ke bad :

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Sonia gandhi – (rote hue) Aaj dinner me biryani banvao.

Afsal guru – C**** tha sala meri tarah chup chap rotiya khata to kisi ka dhayan bhi uspe na jata, kar diya na biryani khila ke halal.

Shivsena – Thackrey sahab ne jate hi bhagvan se kasab ki maut ki arji pe mohar lagva li…!! Jai maharastra ♥

Kejariwal – kasab ki maut fasi se nahi dengu se hui hai.. is bat pe bada khulasa 26 nov ko hoga.

Jallad – Hey Prabhu muft ki rotiyo se bacha liya mujhe, Akhirkar koi kam to aya.

KFC – We are adding kasab biryani in our food menu.

Rahul gandhi – Hey don’t disturb me.. I am busy in playing ludo.

Manmohan singh –

Bigg boss - Bigg Boss chahte hain ki kasab ko fir se fassi pe latkaya jaye, Bigg Boss ke HD camero se chupa kar kiya gya koi bhi karya bigg boss ke niyamo ke khilaf he aur vo manya nahi hoga.

India TV – Jis rassi pe kasab ko lataya gya uski kimat pehli bar sirf India tv bateya apko, 46 krore rupees only.
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#123 by uzair_friends » Sat Nov 24, 2012 01:12

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,
"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
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#124 by uzair_friends » Sat Nov 24, 2012 04:07

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#125 by DaxOnlineWork » Sat Nov 24, 2012 06:37

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#126 by uzair_friends » Mon Nov 26, 2012 23:16

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL!! Put in some more butter!! Oh my Gosh!! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!! Turn them!! TURN THEM NOW!!

We need more butter. Oh my Gosh!! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?! They're going to STICK!! Careful ... CAREFUL!! be CAREFUL!!You NEVER listen to me
when you're cooking! Never!! Turn them! HURRY UP!!

Are you CRAZY? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!"

The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving"
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#127 by Piddles » Tue Nov 27, 2012 00:43

uzair_friends.. This was funny, :lol: I had to share it with my friends.. ;)
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#128 by uzair_friends » Tue Nov 27, 2012 01:36

TasMail wrote: uzair_friends.. This was funny, :lol: I had to share it with my friends.. ;)

:thumbup:
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#129 by CodeNameX » Thu Nov 29, 2012 23:53

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#130 by CodeNameX » Thu Nov 29, 2012 23:56

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#131 by CodeNameX » Thu Nov 29, 2012 23:57

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#132 by CodeNameX » Thu Nov 29, 2012 23:58

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#133 by CodeNameX » Sat Dec 01, 2012 07:22

YE EK TRUE Story Hai :-Isko plz forward kijiye, taaki INDIA me aur KISI LADKI KE SATH aisa naa Ho... Be strong before reading, Date 15 June' 2011 jise soch k insaan ki Rooh tak kaap jati Hai.. Magar zalimo k Haath tak na kaape, Jaipur me 3 saal ki ek Masoom Bachhi jo abhi theek se bol bhi nahi sakti thi, Aur jo din uske khelne kudne k the Uske sage Baap Or kamine Bhai ne milkar us masoom ko zabardasti... . . .
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. . . "SCHOOL" bhej Diya..!:P
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#134 by uzair_friends » Sat Dec 01, 2012 08:08

A bird was disturbing a girl all the
time.
Finally she caught it&decided to
kill it cruelly.
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She took it to the top of a building
&dropped it.
"After all Girls are so
intelligent".. :P
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#135 by bijaykumar2u » Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:11

Sir: Woh Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole Jate Hein ?

Student: Mujhe Nahin Pata…,
Sir: Shabaash Beta, Beith Jao..!
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#136 by bijaykumar2u » Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:32

Husband: Can you be the Moon of my Life?

Wife: Awww, yes Sweetheart...!
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Husband: Great! then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from me...!
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#137 by bijaykumar2u » Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:43

Mam: Agar mein teri Maa ban jaoon to tujhe 2 Din me sudhar doon !
Sunil: Madam mein abhi jake apne Bapu ko batata hoon ki...
Bapu teri Lottery lagne wali hai !
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#138 by CoolDudeX » Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:22

Fact!


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#139 by CoolDudeX » Sat Dec 01, 2012 22:02

Get Ready


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#140 by uzair_friends » Sun Dec 02, 2012 00:40

Tv Ads Have Taught Me :

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You Don't Need Singing Skills To Be An Indian Idol,

You Just Need Fair & Lovely..!!

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That No One Can Eat Cadbury Dairymilk Chocolate Without Getting It All Across Their Face..!!

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To Close Bathroom Door While Brushing Teeth, Else A Tv Reporter Might Step In & Ask "Kya Aapke Toothpaste Mein Namak Hai?"

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Don't Buy Reliance..!! Even Anushka Sharma Couldn't Convince Ranvijay
To Buy It..!!

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That Both Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan Have Serious Dandruff Problem..!!

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That If You Don't Use Harpic, Hussain Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!

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That Only Thing Super Hot Girls Care About Is Your 140 Rupees Deodorant Bathed Body !
Money Minded Women Will Fall For Any Guy Who Applies A Deo Or Uses A Fairness Cream. No Other Quality Matters..!!

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That Salman With A Relaxo Chappal Can Achieve Many Great Things, Unlike The Salman Without The Chappals..!!

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That Your Mom Will Be Proud Of You If You Take A Bath In A
Puddle Of Mud! Daag Ache Hain..!! =)) =D
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