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The Ultimate Jokes Thread (Veg. Only)

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#41 by ptcscrutiny » Tue Nov 06, 2012 05:33

Ammadd wrote: I love these jokes I always visit this thread like daily or in 1-2 days good work it always makes me laugh and if anyone don't mind in my posting here in Hindi forum?
Everyone's invited ;)
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#42 by uzair_friends » Tue Nov 06, 2012 05:59

Ammadd wrote: I love these jokes I always visit this thread like daily or in 1-2 days good work it always makes me laugh and if anyone don't mind in my posting here in Hindi forum?

Looking forward for your posts :D
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#43 by uzair_friends » Tue Nov 06, 2012 05:59

Arz kiya hai...

Munda hove sohna , Kudi howe jawan

wah wah..

Munda hove sohna , Kudi howe jawan
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Shakti..shakti.. Shaktiman

Shakti shakti.. Shaktiman.... :D :D :D
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#44 by uzair_friends » Tue Nov 06, 2012 06:11

One of my Favorite Joke:

Killing English

1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U
Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling
Cigarette... ? "

2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The
Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"

3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going
Out Of The World To America.."

4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY
BACK.."

5. Don't..Laugh At The Back
Benches...Otherwise Teeth And All Will Be
Fallen Down.....

6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When
The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch
The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem.
And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not
Oning" (Ing Form Of On)

7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write
Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!

8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is
Revolving Around College"

9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am
Madhu, Married With Two Kids"

10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll
HANG MYSELF"

11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK
AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us...
"My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My
Daughter"

13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially
Mother And Father

14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys
Outside When I Am In The Class?!"

15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend
Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You
Understand. Computer How Understand??

16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The
Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep
Quiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"

17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly
I Will Stand Uping U"

18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit
Outside, The Understand
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#45 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 06:32

Recharge your Girlfriend's Mobile from your Mobile Phone for "Free".
Hurry - Limited Period Offer!
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#46 by CodeNameX » Tue Nov 06, 2012 06:39

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#47 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 06:41

Professor: To keep your Character Good, think every Women as your Mother or Sisters.
Student: OK, but thinking this way will destroy my Father's Character.
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#48 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 07:37

Interviewer: Let me check your Word Power...

Candidate: OK Sir...

Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of .....Good.

Candidate: Hmmm..... Bad.

Interviewer: Come?

Candidate: Go.

Interviewer: Ugly?

Candidate: Pichhli.

Interviewer: PICHHLI?

Candidate: UGLYYYYYYYYY...

Interviewer: Shut Up.

Candidate: Keep Talking.

Interviewer: OK, now stop these all...

Candidate: Now carry on this all.

Interviewer: Abe... chup ho ja... chup ho ja... chup ho jaaaa.

Candidate: Abe bolta reh... bolta reh... bolta rehh.

Interviewer: Areee Yaaar.

Candidate: Areee Dushmannn.

Interviewer: Get Out.

Candidate: Come In.

Interviewer: Oh my God.

Candidate: Oh my Devil.

Interviewer : You are "Rejected".

Candidate: I am selected... Thank you... thank you Sir.
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#49 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 07:52

SARDAR:- Yaar, "I AM GOING" ka matlab kya hota hai?


FRIEND:- Mein jaa raha hoon.


SARDAR:- Shaley, aise keise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise jaa chuke hein... answer bata ke jaa...
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#50 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 08:03

Sardar: You cheated me.


Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to you.


Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but the Radio says, this is "All India Radio!"
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#51 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 08:10

Interviewer: How does an Electric Motor run?

Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.................................


Interviewer shouts: Stop it.


Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr................................. dhup... dhup... dhup... dhup.
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#52 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 08:17

Sardar: What is the name of your Car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".

Sardar: Oh, what a strange Car that starts with Tea. All Cars that I know start with Petrol.
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#53 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 08:22

Boss: Where were you born?

Sardar: India...

Boss: Which part?

Sardar: What "which part"? The whole Body was born in India.
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#54 by uzair_friends » Tue Nov 06, 2012 14:05

Definition Of
"A Great Loser":

A Person Who Dials A Number
(Written With Lipstick On A Phone Booth)
And...

.

.

.

His Wife Picks Up The Phone... ;-)
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#55 by uzair_friends » Tue Nov 06, 2012 14:08

Husband to wife:
U don't LOVE Me at all.
.
.
Wife points towards der five children & says-
Do u think I downloaded these from Google ?
:P :D
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#56 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 17:32

Girl: Which Computer do you have?
Boy: I have Intel Core i7, 3.3 GHz CPU, Windows 7, 64 Bit, 8 GB RAM and which one do you have?
Girl: I have a Black one.
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#57 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 17:41

Husband: Darling, years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes Darling, I still do. Only difference is earlier it was 300 ml. and now it's 1.5 lt.
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#58 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 17:52

Wife: I wish I was a Newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a Newspaper, so I could have a New one Everyday.
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#59 by bijaykumar2u » Tue Nov 06, 2012 20:05

Santa: Agar mein Nariyal ke Ped pe chaddhun to Engineering College ki Ladkiyan dikhengi.
Banta: Haan Yaar, aur agar neeche gira to Medical College ki Ladkiyan dikhengi !
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#60 by uzair_friends » Tue Nov 06, 2012 23:58

Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?

Student: Yes miss, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.
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