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The Ultimate Jokes Thread (Veg. Only)

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#261 by ptcearnings11 » Fri Apr 18, 2014 22:33

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#262 by ptcearnings11 » Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:38

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#263 by livinggod29 » Wed Apr 23, 2014 02:09

Pen✒ kho jaaye toh naya le sakte ho....
Lekin agar pen ka dhakkan kho jaye toh naya nai le sakte.
Isliye zindagi mein ek baat yaad rakhna doston:
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Pen hamesha
Tichuk Tichuk
Wala hi lena
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#264 by ptcscrutiny » Fri Apr 25, 2014 06:41

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#265 by Sukam » Fri Apr 25, 2014 06:53

@ptcscrutiny Old one

SathishMagleena wrote: Go home stone. You're drunk :lol:

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#266 by ptcscrutiny » Fri Apr 25, 2014 06:59

Sukam wrote: @ptcscrutiny Old one

My bad :oops:
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#267 by Sukam » Fri Apr 25, 2014 07:02

ptcscrutiny wrote:
Sukam wrote: @ptcscrutiny Old one

My bad :oops:

no worry sir ... better luck next time :thumbup:
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#268 by livinggod29 » Sat Apr 26, 2014 05:14

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#269 by livinggod29 » Sun May 11, 2014 23:38

Girls will be girls

Girls will be girls..!!

Girlfriend giving house directions to her Boyfriend:

"Come to the front gate of my apartment where you drop me, look for flat 9A,you will find a lift on your right. Hit 9 with your ELBOW.....get out of the lift, you will find my flat on left....hit the doorbell with your ELBOW & I get the door for you..."

Boyfriend says,"Dear, that seems easy but why am I hitting buttons with my elbows?

Girlfriend,"0MG! Are you coming empty handed..?"

Boyfriend speechless..!!
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#270 by bijaykumar2u » Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:22

Last edited by bijaykumar2u » Wed Jun 25, 2014 12:18 » edited 1 time in total
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#271 by bijaykumar2u » Wed Jun 25, 2014 12:04

Romance Mathematics

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy


Office Arithmetic

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production
Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion
Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime


Shopping Math

A Man will pay $2 for a $1 Item he needs.

A Woman will pay $1 for a $2 Item that she doesn't need.
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#272 by bijaykumar2u » Wed Jun 25, 2014 12:17

What Girls do most of the time:-


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Scroll down to find out:-


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#273 by livinggod29 » Wed Jun 25, 2014 22:39

One Line Humor...

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24] Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it..
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#274 by mehulparmar76 » Sun Jul 20, 2014 11:03

Ek Aadmi ko Kisine latter like k

" LIKHNE WALA MAHAN OR PADHNE WALA BEWKUFF"

Us Aadmi ne use repley karte hue latter likha k

"LIKHNE WALA BEWKUFF AUR PADHNE WALA MAHAN"
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#275 by oberder » Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:58

There's a great thing on owning a motorcycle -- mobility, convenience on traveling, the sense of freedom...

...and the ability to use it to prank :mrgreen: ( Remember: No one was harmed in here, everyone just got a quick shower )


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#276 by The_Helper » Wed Aug 06, 2014 21:51

:lol: :lol:

I couldn't stop laughing. This is so awesome. Nice one buddy.
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#277 by oberder » Sat Aug 09, 2014 06:03

Now, keep your eyes on the fruit...

Really-- :mrgreen:

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#278 by The_Helper » Fri Aug 15, 2014 05:36

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#279 by rk1000 » Sat Aug 23, 2014 21:22

1 baar Indian,American aur China police me competition ho gya ki dekhte h kisi gum hui cheez ko pehle kon dhundhta h
to we 1 khargosh(Rabbit) jungle me chhod dete h pehl;e American police gayi wo 2 din me rabbit ko dhund layi
fir china police ka number aata h to wo 7 deen me dhund laye
fir number aata h Indian police ka'
1 week ho gya
2 week ho gye
3 week ho gye
1 month ho gya
2 month ho gye
3 month ho gye
to American aur chinese police ne socha chalo hum Indian police ko late h dhundkar tpo wo jungle me jaakr dekhte h



















Indian Police "Monkey" to ped se upta tangar use dande se pit rahi h aur bol rahi h "qabul kar ki tu Rabbit h, Kar qabul" :thumbup: :mrgreen:
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#280 by oberder » Thu Sep 25, 2014 13:01

Do you have time to spend a moment, dear reader?

Of course you do -- so, are you ready? Ok, here we go:

...

Think: First man on the moon -- Who was he?

Of course, it was Neil Armstrong

...

Now, imagine his name patch -- NEIL, A.

...

Are you ready for this?

...

Spell his name patch backwards






First man on the moon was...

A. LIEN

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