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The Ultimate Jokes Thread (Veg. Only)

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#221 by nuday2007 » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:24

Got inspired from the phone joke just posted by Sathish Magleena. Here is mine:

There was a woman who usually speaks a lot over the phone. Whether she calls to somebody or she receives a call from somebody, she speaks for more than 2 hours.

One day she receives a phone call and she finishes the call in about 1 hour. The husband gets confused and asks her who was on the line and why she spoke less and the wife answers: "It was a wrong call". :)
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#222 by CoolDudeX » Sun Jun 30, 2013 00:39

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#223 by subway_123 » Sun Jun 30, 2013 03:53

bijaykumar_74 wrote: Q: Why doesn't the Indian Law permit a Man to marry a Second Woman?
A: Because as per the Law one cannot be punished twice for the same Offence!
bcoz there is no limitations for marrying a woman ;)
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#224 by oberder » Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:10

Teacher: Mark, how do you spell "Crocodile"?

Mark: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-E-L

Teacher: *gasp* No, that's quite wrong

Mark: But ma'am, you told me how I spell it--

=====

Teacher: May, please go to the map and show us where is America

*May walks to the map* Here it is, ma'am

Teacher: Very good, May -- Now class, who discovered America?

Class: MAY DID!

=====

Teacher: Now, does any of you children say your prayers before eating? Joshua?

Joshua: *shakes head* No ma'am, because I know my mom's a great cook

( ....makes you wonder... )
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#225 by CoolDudeX » Wed Jul 10, 2013 08:01

Tom cat

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#226 by thumbsupkhan » Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:19

millions of book copies sold on the first week due to spelling mistake.

the book name on the cover was

how to change your wife.
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#227 by thumbsupkhan » Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:23

Science proved the best couple on earth may have to be

the husband deaf and woman blind.
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#228 by thumbsupkhan » Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:27

how to kill a woman easily.

give her best type or dresses, jewelry and lock her in a place where there is no mirror,

soch soch k he mar jayegi k mai kaisi lag rahi ho.
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#229 by thumbsupkhan » Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:31

do you know where is the best and dangerous magic happens.


think twice,

you don't know

ok, i am giving you the answer.

the answer is beauty parlor.

jandi koye aur hy, aandi koye aur hy.
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#230 by thumbsupkhan » Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:32

the minimum face with maximum decoration is called a
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woman face.
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#231 by JeEtrOck700 » Sat Jul 20, 2013 05:45

SathishMagleena wrote: Tom cat


Hahahahaahaha :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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#232 by JeEtrOck700 » Sat Jul 20, 2013 05:46

thumbsupkhan wrote: millions of book copies sold on the first week due to spelling mistake.

the book name on the cover was

how to change your wife.

thumbsupkhan wrote: Science proved the best couple on earth may have to be

the husband deaf and woman blind.

thumbsupkhan wrote: how to kill a woman easily.

give her best type or dresses, jewelry and lock her in a place where there is no mirror,

soch soch k he mar jayegi k mai kaisi lag rahi ho.

thumbsupkhan wrote: do you know where is the best and dangerous magic happens.


think twice,

you don't know

ok, i am giving you the answer.

the answer is beauty parlor.

jandi koye aur hy, aandi koye aur hy.

thumbsupkhan wrote: the minimum face with maximum decoration is called a
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woman face.

oberder wrote: Teacher: Mark, how do you spell "Crocodile"?

Mark: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-E-L

Teacher: *gasp* No, that's quite wrong

Mark: But ma'am, you told me how I spell it--

=====

Teacher: May, please go to the map and show us where is America

*May walks to the map* Here it is, ma'am

Teacher: Very good, May -- Now class, who discovered America?

Class: MAY DID!

=====

Teacher: Now, does any of you children say your prayers before eating? Joshua?

Joshua: *shakes head* No ma'am, because I know my mom's a great cook

( ....makes you wonder... )

SathishMagleena wrote:

nuday2007 wrote: Got inspired from the phone joke just posted by Sathish Magleena. Here is mine:

There was a woman who usually speaks a lot over the phone. Whether she calls to somebody or she receives a call from somebody, she speaks for more than 2 hours.

One day she receives a phone call and she finishes the call in about 1 hour. The husband gets confused and asks her who was on the line and why she spoke less and the wife answers: "It was a wrong call". :)

Hahahahahaahahaha :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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#233 by jaya48 » Sat Jul 27, 2013 08:06

bijaykumar_74 wrote: Q: Why doesn't the Indian Law permit a Man to marry a Second Woman?
A: Because as per the Law one cannot be punished twice for the same Offence!

all jokes are funny and good.
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#234 by uzair_friends » Sat Jul 27, 2013 10:14

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#235 by livinggod29 » Sun Sep 29, 2013 22:10

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
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#236 by livinggod29 » Sun Sep 29, 2013 22:11

Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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#237 by livinggod29 » Wed Oct 02, 2013 02:30

The Biggest LOL Statement:
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Computers and Mobiles were invented to save our time..!!!!
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#238 by nidhi11 » Sat Oct 05, 2013 01:16

A colgate;s reporter comes on pappu's door ...
Reporter : kya apke toothpaste mein namak hi???
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Pappu : chal bhag saali....kalko pochegi kya apke SHAMPOO mein GARAM MASALA hiii..... :P :lol: ;)
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#239 by livinggod29 » Wed Dec 04, 2013 09:45

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again.

Santa replies, “I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
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#240 by gvrajans » Fri Dec 06, 2013 07:12

Hi to everyone here in this :lol: thread,

Hindi Songs & their Medical Meanings :-

Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat Bhar Dhuan Chale - Fever

Tadap Tadap Ke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi - Heart Attack

Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jaane Tum Kab Aoge - Constipation

Bidi Jalayle Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai - Acidity

Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Main Kya Karoon - Cataract

Tuje Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kehna - Alzheimer?s

Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole - Vertigo

Tip-Tip Barsa Pani, Pani Ne Aag Lagayi - Urinary Infection

Dil Dhadak-Dhadak Ke Keh Raha Hai - Hypertension

Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen Par Nahi Padte Mere - Corn on Feet

Haay-Re-Haay Neend Nahi Aaye - Insomnia

Batana Bhi Nahi Aata, Chupana Bhi Nahi Aata - Piles

And Sabse Mast

Lagi Aaj Saawan Ki Phir Wo Zadi Hai - Loose Motion

:lol:
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